HEMLOCK STREET :: UNIFORM CODE

OFFICIAL UNIFORM CODE
HEMLOCK STREET DISTRICT 9

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FROM: Vic Frohmeyer (Commander in Chief)
SUBJECT: PROPER ATTIRE FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON

To maintain property values and community cohesion, all residents must adhere to the following dress code between Nov 1st and Dec 26th. Dressing like a slob (Luther) creates anarchy.

CLASS A: LEADERSHIP ATTIRE (VIC ONLY)

NAVY BLAZER (BRASS BUTTONS) MANDATORY	THE "AUTHORITY" BLAZER - Must be double-breasted. - Must look good while holding a megaphone. - Brass buttons must be polished daily.
TACTICAL TURTLENECK APPROVED	THE TACTICAL TURTLENECK - Protects the neck from wind chill. - Commands respect. - Must be tucked in at all times.

CLASS B: THE CAROLER SQUAD

INSPECTION AT 1800 HOURS. IF YOUR BELLS AREN'T SHINY, GO HOME.

WOOL VEST (ITCHY)	STANDARD ISSUE VEST Required for all choir members. If you complain that it itches, you lack Christmas Spirit.
SHEET MUSIC (LAMINATED)	LAMINATED SONGBOOK We sing "Jingle Bells" loudly on Luther's lawn until he submits. Rain or shine.

!!! PROHIBITED ITEMS (THE "LUTHER" LIST) !!!

WARNING: WEARING THESE ITEMS WILL RESULT IN IMMEDIATE SHUNNING

SPEEDO / SWIM TRUNKS BANNED	THE "TANNING" OUTFIT Under no circumstances shall a resident wear swimwear in December. Reference: Incident #892 (The Tanning Salon Debacle).
BLACK TRENCHCOAT SUSPICIOUS	THE "BURGLAR" LOOK Luther tried to steal a tree wearing black. If you dress like a ninja, Spike will tackle you.

REQUIRED ACCESSORIES

Walkie Talkie: Set to Channel 5. Do not use for personal chatter.
Flashlight: For blinding people who aren't celebrating correctly.
Gloves: For handling frozen hams.