THE KRANK ARCHIVES

"Words of Wisdom from Hemlock Street"

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THE WISDOM OF LUTHER

"I'm skipping Christmas! That's right! No tree, no lights, no nothing!" - Luther Krank (The Manifesto)

"Who's holding the ladder? ... NOBODY'S HOLDING THE LADDER!" - Luther (On the roof)

"It's not a tanning booth, it's a... radiation... enclosure." - Luther (Lying to the Priest)

NORA'S PANIC

"I can't feel my face! Is it moving? Am I smiling?" - Nora (Post-Botox Accident)

"Did you get the ham? TELL ME YOU GOT THE HAM LUTHER!" - Nora (Priorities)

"We are not eating smoked trout for Christmas dinner! We are Americans!" - Nora (Refusing the fish)

THE NEIGHBORHOOD

"You're the only house on the street without a Frosty. It looks like a gap in a smile." - Vic Frohmeyer (Guilt Trip)

"Free Frosty! Free Frosty! Free Frosty!" - The Chant (Mob Mentality)

"I'm not stealing a tree! I'm... borrowing it... from the police!" - Luther (Technically stealing)

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